Being Thankful in the Darkness

Darkness.

Pounding, all consuming darkness.

That's what surrounds me when I am in a depressed state.

Doesn't matter where I am, who I am with, it just shows up and stays for awhile. 

Then it goes away as slowly as it showed up.

I wish I knew what motivated the darkness.  Why it would come and go when it pleases.  If I did, I would write a book and help all the other people who go through it as well.  Then we can all be happy go lucky people forever and ever, right?

Wrong.

I think I need that darkness.

There is something inside me that has to actually feel nothing in the dark as so often I feel nothing in the light.

Feelings suck.

It is always so much easier to just shove them in a box, put on a happy face and go about life.

Or...

Put on a sad face and complain to everyone about how life sucks, drag them all down with you and then be surrounded by yuck.

Where is that medium place?  How do we get to that place?  Where we can still be thankful for the dark crappy things that happen to us because...

Because?

Why?

Oh ya, because this is God's will:

"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."  I Thessalonians 5:18

Not in just the feel good circumstances of pay raises, a new baby, good grades, etc, but is ALL CIRCUMSTANCES:

Cancer
Death
Accident
Job Loss
Mistake Made

But Mary, how does a person do this?  With practice.  It's not easy.  Nothing in life is easy... duh... but like starting any new habit, you just have to do it.  Set reminders.  Get angry and then pray.  If you don't pray, that's ok, but still tell yourself that without this darkness, you would not have been able to see the light at the end.

There is always a light at the end, my friends.

It may not be what we had hoped it would be, but it is there.  Waiting for us to see it.  The more we give thanks for an awful situation, the brighter that light becomes. 

Trust me.  It works.  It takes time.  As does anything worth achieving.  But once you can grasp the light, your understanding opens up and you are able to see the glorious gifts all around you that were there the entire time, just clouded by the darkness.