Thunderstorms

Can I confess something to you?

I love thunderstorms.

How I can watch them roll in over the horizon.

How I can hear the thunder slowly growling from afar.

Usually I can even see the blankets of rain and flashes of lightening in the distance.

No matter if they are steam rolling in fast or slow, I can sense they are coming.  Sometimes I will take a look at the radar and see how bit it is.  Other times I just let the winds carry them away as I enjoy their destructive beauty in the safety of my own home.

But what I love the most about thunderstorms is the absolute peace following them.

This past week, we saw a storm coming.  Another great big huge storm that was going to throw us off the path we have just gotten used to.  While Ted was in the emergency room, we were told that his calcium was elevated.

Instantly, our hearts sank.  That was the one test that caused his hemotologist to conduct further testing and that lead us to the multiple myeloma diagnosis.

We cried.  We held each other.  We prayed.  Did this mean that the stem cell transplant didn't work?  Did it mean that the cancer is still in complete control of his body?   What did it mean?

Today, Ted saw his doctor for a follow-up.  He was really worried about Ted's stomach issues, but said that his numbers looked good.

This is good.

Yet he still needs to start chemo back up as maintenance.  My love may be on this for a very long time.  

This storm that we are going through, it seems to be lingering.  Holding on.  Not allowing many breaks in the rain.  

But when they do come, we rejoice.

I am thankful for every good and bad day that my groom has.  They are gifts.  I just would really like it if he could enjoy them.  If the storm could move on its way faster than what it seems to be doing.  

For now, I will do my best to sit back and enjoy as much as the thunder and lightening and growing rain as I can.