Today was decent

Today was a decent day.

Morning routines went smooth.  No puppy messes to clean up.  Kids got on the bus on time.  I did a killer workout.  Started listening to a podcast to attempt to simplify some things in life on my drive in.  Work was busy, a bit too busy, but we survived and many people were helped.  Ted got an awesome deal on a riding lawnmower.  I got home just in time for Ted and Christian to leave to work on our storage trailer we sold a bit ago.  We are down to one working vehicle out of three right now, so the waiting can be rough.  My evening I did pretty much nothing other than take the dogs for a walk, and play stupid games of my cell phone.  Those stupid games may be going next.  I wish I could figure out how not to play them.  They are an inherited addiction.

Did you know that anything can be an addiction?  If you allow it to control what you do and don't do- then you are addicted.

I have tried really hard to not be addicted to unhealthy things.  Smoking, drinking alcohol, eating, coffee, spending more money than I have, gambling, yelling, anger.  All of these things I have watched control other people that I love and I hated how they just sat there and allowed it knowing they were addicted and not making motions to fix it.  Maybe its not a behavior that is wanting to be fixed?  Yes, a person needs to eat, but do they need to eat so much so often?  Yes, I adore a cup of coffee in the morning and a drink once in a while in the evening, but I can survive without them and I am not different if I don't get them.  (okay, I may be a bit of a grouch if I don't get my morning coffee).  I am not writing any of this to make people who do these things feel bad.  I am writing this to say that I choose not to allow those items to control me.

But I can't choose this feeling... this sense of down... but I can choose how I allow it to affect my activities.  Today, I did not allow it to win.  Tomorrow may be different.  I hope not.  Tomorrow we are getting family and senior pictures taken.  I'd like to try and have a decent smile in them.

Whatever it is that you are struggling with: pray about it.  I am praying for my heart to find it's joy again.  That when it is found, it reaches to my lips and eyes so much so that I can see it in the mirror.