Perfect?????

Journal Entry:

September 16, 2018

Psalm 18: 30
"As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless.  He is a shield for all who take refuge in him."

God's way is perfect.

That actually hurts.  Where is the perfection in an illness that takes away the life of a person yet allows them to still be alive?

Where is the perfection in having a husband suddenly die in a horrific car crash just after a marriage and career started to be great again?

Where is the perfection in any of the heartache that surrounds it all?

How is that pain felt to the core perfect, God?  HOW????

I know I am meerly human- living htis life the best I can with what I have been given. I'm thankful- so thankful for everyday.

Yet, I don't know how it is perfect.

Then I see the compassion come out in my husband.  His heart has grown that it shows on the outside.  His desire to help is still there- just in different ways- to a different set of people.

I see how an amazing woman has stepped up to be a single- widowed- mom of three.  HOw those kids will adjust in life after death is based on her. 

Her strength comes from God- THE ROCK- as I know first hand that she truly has none left in her for anything.

Perfect?

I don't know.  I have not read the rest of our stories- but The Author has.  And I will have to (have no other choice really) to trust in his perfection.