For the last couple of days, as Valentine's Day gets closer and closer, and the release of Fifty Shade of Grey, I have seen and read several articles from bloggers and doctors who feel that the Fifty Shades of Grey movie is both a mentally and physically abusive movie for it's viewers to watch.
I tried to read the articles with an open mind, as I try to read every internet article, but I must say, some offended me and some pissed me off.
It was very clear that some of the authors to these articles did not actually read the books and if they did, they read them with tinted glasses.... tinted toward real life and tinted toward only seeing abuse.
Before I go any further, I want you to know that I read the books. All of them. In the mind set that they are fiction. Fantasy fiction, absolutely, but abusive fiction, I don't think so. To me, abuse means unwanted acts toward a person, and that is far from the truth in these books.
The main word we need to remember here is FICTION. The books are not real, the movie is not real. It is a story. If you cannot separate truth from fiction, then you don't have any business reading or watching anything, really.
Most of the articles I read (sorry I don't have the links- I didn't want to pick out one or two of them in order to give them more hits), depict the books and movie as a real live situation that can cause people to view love in a totally submissive way. They state that Anastasia (Ana) was physically beaten and emotionally tormented by a good-looking, rich man. What they don't point out, however, is that Christian Grey gives her the CHOICE to be in a relationship with him. He doesn't force her to do anything. Even after Ana modifies the contract to meet her needs, (yup, there is a contract involved fully disclosing what the relationship will consist of) there is still a safe word that will stop any act and scenes being played out. The books go into amazing detail how Ana struggles with her decisions with Christian and how Christian is upset with Ana when she doesn't use the safe words. Believe it or not, he wants to protect her and keep her safe. Christian never forces Ana to do anything she isn't comfortable enough and willing enough to do. He tells her before they start to "play" what he wants to do and allows Ana to make the decision to not do it.
Which is what I simply wanted to share with you... if you want to see the movie, remember it is fiction. Remember it is not real. That real love doesn't ask you to be hand cuffed to a spinning wheel with a blind fold on, or that a contract is needed that states you have to exercise to stay in shape or that you can't drink a lot of alcohol (one article stated that Mr. Grey got Miss Steele drunk frequently-he did not as it would have fuzzed her mind to stop anything that could happen later). Remember that real love does exist and that when you find it, sex is so much better (especially if you are married) and the only contract you need is a marriage license.
Now to answer the one big question, will I go see the movie this weekend?
HELL NO!!
Not because of my morals (remember I read the books, I know what it is about), but because watching a movie like that while sitting next to strangers would simply be gross and disgusting. Like walking in on my parents have sex gross. Or talking about sex problems with my mother-in-law. I just couldn't do it. However, I may rent it and watch it in the privacy of my home, when the kids are away, and I'm with my husband. Because, well, to be honest, I'm human, and the books put me in "the mood" better than our nightly ritual of eating dinner in front of the TV does, and he kinda likes it when I get that way.
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