Day 12- I can't Help it!

"I call heaven and earth to witness this day against you that I have set before you life and death, the blessings and the curses; therefore choose life, that you and your descendants may live" Deuteronomy 30: 19

"When God begins to deal with us about wrong behavior, it's easy enough to say, "I can't help it," but it takes real courage and faith to say, "I'm ready to take responsibility and get my life straightened out." (Meyers, pg 40).

"Issues buried alive never die." (pg 40)

"We don't have to live in the past- in fact, we are encourage by God's Word to forget it and let it go." (pg 41). 

"I learned that instead of feeling hopeless over the thoughts that fill my mind, I can- I must- do something positive." (pg 41)

"When we're bombarded with doubts and fears, that's when we need to take our stand." (pg 43)

"It takes time to learn to choose good and push away evil. It won't be easy, but we're moving in the right direction every time we take responsibility and make right choices." (pg 43)

Prayer:
Powerful God, remind me that I can and do make choices every day.  Please help me to monitor my thoughts, choosing only those that will help me overcome the devil and win the battle for my mind. In Jesus name, I pray. Amen (pg 43)

**********My Thoughts**********

At first, I thought about Alyssa and how she says she can't control her anger.  How frustrating that is for me, her mom, who had the same problem as a child and chose to control it.

But then I think back to that time.  It was an epiphany, really.

I was 17 or 18 years old.  Home alone with my sisters after school.  It was snack time and I demanded my sister (cousin really- parents adopted her) to bring me a cookie.

She told me no.

I snapped.

I did that a lot to my siblings when my parents were nowhere to be found.

A chase pursued throughout our single wide trailer.

It ended when I busted the bathroom door open, and I saw my sister cowering between the toilet and the tub with her hands over the back of her head trying to protect herself.

As I turned around and saw my reflection, I saw someone I hated.

I didn't want to hate myself.

There I was, humbled before God and my sister to change.

And I did.

Slowly, over time, anger subsided. 

 No longer was that fierceness in me. 

 No longer was I so lazy that I wouldn't do things on my own.

Slowly

God changed me.

He is still changing me, more than 15 years later.

Our thoughts, our reactions, are only ours when we don't allow God to take them over. 

It's so difficult.

But so worth it.