As I wait....

Another long and snowy drive to Ann Arbor this morning.  As many times as we have done this trip, you would think I had it all figured it out by now...

I don't.

Last night I was stressed and crabby and making snippy comments.  This morning I was not laughing at jokes and told that I have changed. 

Do I take offense to that or embrace it?  How does one not change when their partner in life is about to undergo getting all new stem cells?  Where there are so many horror stories about the procedure and just a handful of success stories.  Or maybe the horror stories are better so people tell them more than they do the successes?

Why do we do that?

We made it to Ann Arbor pretty easily.  Did our one stop at a gas station and talked about idiot drivers and nothing at all.  Found where we were supposed to go to and got to a bed pretty quickly.

Ted put the gown on with the tie in the back, I had to remind him where he was having "surgery" at, so he flipped it around.  He looked pretty cute in blue jeans, tennis shoes and a hospital gown.

The male nurse got in the IV like a champ.  Ted's veins can be a bit wiggly at times.  We waited about 30 more minutes before the medication nurse came in and got him ready to roll out.  I kissed him a couple of times and off we went... he to conscience sedation, me to the main floor lobby where there are way more comfortable chairs, windows, and room than the little radiation surgery waiting room.

I allow myself to get comfortable, pull out my turkey on wheat tortilla with a lot of lettuce and little mayo and eat the rest of that up.  Then I grab the apple I brought because I am really trying to eat healthy so I can stay healthy to care for my love the best way I can.  As I am eating, the piano starts making music.

In my own world, I didn't notice the woman walk over, lay her jacket on the top of the baby grand, sit down and begin to play.  But I am noticing her now.  The way her fingers glide across the keys. Her head bobbing and swaying to the tune, toe tapping the pedals.  She is doing something I could never do.  I have tried.  I love listening to the piano, how so many keys can come together, black and white, and make such beautiful music.  Melodies & harmonies.  Flats & sharps.  All working toward one purpose- to make a joyful noise.  To bring forth emotion and feelings in a place that can bring such terrible sadness. 

In a few minutes I will get to throw away my plastic wrap and apple peel and head back down stairs to the overcrowded waiting room in the basement of the hospital to get my groggy, maybe loopy husband who will have three lines coming out of his right chest area.  These lines will allow the apherisis unit connect him to machines so much easier, hopefully allowing for an easy exit of all the stem cells needed for his transplant in two weeks. 

Man!  What an amazing world and country and time we live in where break through science can happen in the same building that an instrument that has been around forever is being played!!!

We are truly a blessed people.