Angels in Disguise

 For the last, maybe, two months, I have been planning a fence-building party to get up the pasture fencing for the horses. 

A couple of people were going to show up on Saturday, but then it rained. A cold, steady rain. All day long.  This just irritated me to no end.  I had food.  The auger rented and a few people said they would actually come out and help.

I was mad at God.  

Almost went and got the auger and did it myself in the rain because I'm stubborn like that.

Then God whispered in my ear, "Mary, I'm giving you a break.  Take it."

"FINE!  Whatever you say, God.  It's not like I have much of a choice anyways."

So, I rested. 

Cleaned the kitchen.

Rested.

Cleaned up the table (I may not have been able to see the top of it for a while).

Rested.

Vacuumed.

Rested.

At the end of the night, I had to fight the urge and say, "There! Are you happy now?  I rested!"

This morning, I woke up to a song where all I know is a few words of the chorus:

    This is the day that the Lord has made.

    I will rejoice and be glad in it.

    This is the day that the Lord has made.

I knew that no matter what was coming in the day ahead, I would rejoice and be glad in it.

Yet, I still had a few negative vibes running through my veins.  So much so that I wrote this in my journal:

"Lord, thank you for today. Even if only I show up, you have and will continue to power me through the day.  If one shows up, then it will cut the time in half.  Two? even more- if more show up?  How great will that be?  Lord, I know you are in control. You will handle all the details.  I just have to show up.

Thank you for removing the poor me thoughts from yesterday. Yes, it still may just be me, and maybe Dave, but if that's the case, I'll do what I can and try really hard to not be angry and hurt.

It's easy to fall down the hole of "what happened to all the people who told me they would be there for me when I needed something- anything?  All I need to do is ask.  

Well, I've asked.  On several occasions and honestly, I'm done asking.

I suppose that means that empty words are perhaps the thing I dislike the most from people.

Papa, make my heart be light today, no matter what happens.  I love you and know you are in control and have the day planned out.  May your will be done.  Amen."

After I journaled, I got ready and left to go pick up the auger.  As I was leaving the rental hardware store, I noticed a gorilla cart that I had been trying to find localish to buy.  I pulled back into the parking lot and brought that puppy home.  It helped us out so much just today.  I can't wait to use it for a plethora of other things around my hobby farm since I sold the UTV that I bought.

About one hour after I got home, Dave showed up. Then Steve from the church I have been going to.  He arranged for a tribe that helps people out with things like this to come over today.  Just after noon, there were three more men added to the group.

Yay God!

Not all of the work was done.  The younger married men needed to get home to their families.  However, all the holes have been drilled.  The t-posts are still lined up. And one of the men's fathers that was helping out today moves lean-tos and other items for people and I'll be getting the contact info for that hopefully tomorrow.

Yay God!

I could be resentful right now for people who were around during Ted's cancer and death, but that doesn't serve me.  What does serve me is being grateful for the way God used some strangers, a man I met at church, and a man I met online to bless me.

I choose joy.

End of story.