When Buying a Book Scares Me

One of the hardest, most difficult things to incorporate change is to simply begin.  To take the first baby step that as an adult it amazingly scary because I think that a painful fall is going to happen as I learn to walk down a new path.

New is full of fear to me.  Exciting, sure, but oh so very scary.

What am I afraid of?  Well..

About a week and a half ago, I learned of a new book that Dave Ramsey was talking about written by Jon Acuff called "Start- Punch fear in the face/ Escape average/ Do work that matters".

This book sounded terrifying to me... still does.  So much so that I am nauseated just thinking about it.

I'm strange, I know.

Why does a book make me feel this way? you ask.

Because I KNOW that I'm not where I am supposed to be.

I KNOW that God has different plans for me than where I am now.

BUT... these plans are so big and so unimaginable that I don't know how it will ever work and I certainly don't know how to START.

All the crazy details on it have been dragging me down inside.  Making me a kind of grumpy person to be around (at least at home and church where I know I will be loved no matter what) (saving my good times for work (not sure why I do that))  (I'm done with parenthesis now.)

Today, as I was reading about how I can make money on my little blog because work is sooooo slow right now- and we are living more paycheck to paycheck then ever before- that book came back into my head.

God whispers to us like that, I do believe.

He just drops ideas and notions into our hearts and minds until we listen to them even when they are so very nerve racking ideas such as buying a book.

Remembering I had a couple of extra dollars in my amazon account for slower shipping, I ordered the book for my kindle.

I think I will write about the book and how it is affecting me because a journey isn't any fun by your lonesome.  Maybe it will be a bit easier for me if I knew that I had people that are holding me accountable to what God is telling me.  It will certainly help if you all pray for me as I read this book so that I can give this fear to God like my kids in children ministry did with their fears on Sunday morning.

After all, all great stories START with, "In the beginning".