Brain Balance

Have you ever wondered about your brain and how it works?  Why we have two hemispheres in the skull and what would happen when one is more dominant than the other?  Or perhaps what would happen if the two sides didn't talk with eachother as well as they were originally designed to?

Me neither. Until.

Until we started looking into other ways to help Alyssa.  At the time we were looking into Brain Balance, it had been almost a year since she was in Pine Rest.  In that year, she has seen psychiatrists, psychologists, counselors, been on several different medications and nothing has helped her.

That old saying of you can only help those who want to be helped holds true for my sweet 10 year old. 

She HATES talking to the psychologist.

"It's none of his business!"

She HATES taking her medications.

"I don't need it!"

She knows, however, that she over reacts.  She knows that something is different with her, but just not sure what. 

We knew, as her parents, that she should be able to do her homework when asked and not get angry when it was time to do chores.  We know siblings fight, but never to the extent that they did.

Most importantly, however, we knew that we were not doing enough to help her.  What we didn't know is what else we could do.

So, I started looking online for other options and I found Brain Balance. 

The first step was to get her tested.  Then we would see if she really needed their program or not.

She did the first day of testing without any problems.  It lasted about 90 minutes and was all fun movement activities.

The second day didn't go so well.  In fact, she refused to finish the testing.  She was done, shut down.  Instead of pushing her and creating a negative feeling for her at Brain Balance, they said that they would go off of what she did do and that we would go from there.

A few days later, we sat down with DR. Rowley. He explained her results in full detail (it literally took 2.5 hours).  In a nut shell, the left and right hemisphere of her brain does not talk with each other like they should and results in her behaving emotionally like a 6 year old.  Her reading and math levels are that of a first or second grader.  She doesn't know how strong she is, her brain isn't set up to tell her.  She can't stop from being angry.  Even though she feels remorse after a situation, she truly cannot see another way out of it other than her way.

I cannot tell you how many times I had her pinned to the ground to protect myself or Christian from her.  Or how many times I wished I was so weak that I beat fear into her so she would at least listen through fear- after all, isn't that how a lot of us were raised?  But I chose to be strong.  To not get angry with her, and to learn good holds that would keep us all safe.  I also learned how to take my emotions out of the situation.  I had to, otherwise I don't know what I would have done.

There isn't a day that goes by that I am not thankful for my princess.  For God blessing us with her.

She didn't always behave like that.  Usually, she was a sweet, innocent, and super fun little girl who loves animals beyond imagination (which has always been one of her characteristics).

But when she snapped....

....... I was afraid of her......

........afraid of being bit or scratched again.........

.........afraid I may over react and then regret..........

............I truly feared my daughter when she got like that...............

And I HATED myself for that.

Dr. Rowley didn't promise us anything before we started the program.  In fact, he said that there is a 20% chance it could not work at all, or that she would need to go through it again.

I held onto the 80% success rate.  Onto to how he knew my daughter and how her brain works.  I didn't know, but he did.  And they had a program that could help her.  I clung unto that.

The program was difficult at times.  Three months of three days a week of going to Kalamazoo to see them after school.  We had to take Alyssa out of dance class because it was just too much.  We drove over 5,600 miles from our home to Brain Balance in the last three months.  With the price of gas so high, we went through a lot of gas money.  We ate out almost every time we went to Brain Balance due to the time of her sessions.  That added up fast.  But I don't honestly care.  It was all to help my daughter find herself again.

Throughout the program, as a child progresses, they earn stars.  You wouldn't think a kid would be overly excited to get a star, but I tell you what, to watch Alyssa's face and the faces of other kids light up as they put their stars up on the wall in the lobby, was amazing.

Alyssa putting up her first earned stars!

By the end of the three months, the window frames where she is standing at was covered in her stars!!!

Kids have exercises to do at home.  They are supposed to do them three times a day.  For the first two months, Alyssa refused to do them at all and if she did, it was very half heartily.  Then, we found something to motivate her... her kindle fire and TV time.  So.... she could do her exercises for 30 min of screen time.  This is also how we got her to do her chores.  I knew it clicked in her head when she had a two hour delay at school and instead of going back to bed, she was doing the dishes!

Of course, it's not always so easy.  We do have to remind her to do her exercises every day, and usually we have to remind her about chores, but it is no longer a struggle for her to do them.

The workers at the Brain Balance in Kalamazoo are amazing.  I called when I had questions about how to react to something.  Or when we were there and struggling with Alyssa doing her exercises, they helped us to find different ways of encouraging her to do them.  They were so supportive of us and it really helped us to know that they were there for us as much as for our daughter. They never looked upon us in judging eyes, but sympathetic and helpful hearts. That support and encouragement was priceless to me.

She is smiling now more than ever.  She still has her thinking moments when I can see in her head that she wants to throw a temper tantrum rather than work a problem out.  It may take her 10 minutes or more to figure it out, but she is figuring it out.  And I am so proud of her.

Today, she graduated from Brain Balance.  We go back in a week to see how her tests improved.  Even though I don't know the scores, I know she did better because this time, she actually finished the test she refused to do before!

I can honestly say that our baby girl is back.  She is more herself and less a struggling child trying to figure out how to solve problems that get in her way.

Christian and Alyssa still fight, but now it's not nearly as intense and is often filled with a lot of giggling.  I don't know about you other mom's out there, but I can handle giggle filled fights way better than screams of pain.

Now, after Brain Balance, I can honestly say that I am NOT afraid of my daughter any more!  And THAT puts a smile on this mamma's face!

We still have our struggles, and are not out of the woods yet, but now, I can see the trees and the leaves rather than a whirlwind of blurred browns and greens.

Homework is no longer a three hour long fight every night.  She is reading books for the fun of it when before she hated to read.  She is doing chores and exercises with the normal non-compliance of a 10 year old kid, not that of a two year old throwing an all out temper tantrum.

She is happy.

And for that, I thank you Brain Balance.  Thank you Dr. Rowley, Summer, Kelsey, Heidi and everyone else there who saw my daughter for more than what she wanted you to see, but for who she truly is- a beautiful little girl with so much potential to be more.  We are forever be grateful.